Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
