i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
