Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
