Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
