How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
