ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
