dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
