Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
