I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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