Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
