Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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