He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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