it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
