Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
