Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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