connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
