No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
be right there i have to get my cape
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
