whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
