We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
