Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
True strength comes from lack of pants
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
