He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
