____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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