"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
