can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My feet surprised me
Randomize
