i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
