I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
