No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
