I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
