okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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