Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
