I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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