I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I am one with the molecules
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
