you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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