ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
