There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
