That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
