What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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