just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
