I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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