NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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