so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
