Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
