I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
