i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
