My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
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