She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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