There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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