meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
