I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
