don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
