so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
