Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
