When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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