fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
