I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize