There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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