apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
