i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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